Practice Reinforcement: Catch Others Doing Something Right!
What you radiate, you attract! What you focus on expands.
People will treat you the way you teach them to treat you.
Think about what actually nourishes and encourages you to produce and perform well. Usually it is mostly about others being impressed, being dazzled and proud of you. You are often driven to do well because of your own self-concept, your values, and the regard, respect, cheering, and reinforcement you receive from others.
In company cultures (and most families), there are usually three ways in which people find out how they are doing in the minds of others:
MOST OF THE TIME PEOPLE RECEIVE LOTS OF #1 AND #2: Criticism and silence. They even say with relief... "no news is good news!" However, the price on long-term performance is huge. The result is that most people end up severely EMOTIONALLY MALNOURISHED. They eventually run out of inspirations and emotional reserves to keep producing at high levels.
So, remember the following axiom:
IF YOU REINFORCE BEHAVIOR YOU LIKE IN OTHERS, YOU ARE LIKELY TO GET MORE OF THAT BEHAVIOR!
Practicing Reinforcement at Work:
General guidelines about reinforcement:
Be specific about what they did or are doing.
Share with them what value their behavior has for you.
Tie in what value their behavior has for the team/organization.
Make a point of practicing reinforcement at meetings.
Get into the habit of reinforcing more than you criticize.
Send thank you notes in email or, preferably, through the snail mail.
Send group voice mails or emails showing reinforcement for someone or several people. This increases the expectation that good news can be shared and recognition is very acceptable.
Relax your concern that you will be at risk of reinforcing too much. Most likely, people will keep producing well with new expectations of receiving validation and recognition.
Practice telling people what impresses you. You will finally get comfortable with it, and they will get comfortable with receiving it.
If people discount your compliment, simply repeat it again until they say thank you.
Practice accepting compliments--
Accept it: say "thank you"
Harvest it: say "thank you, I am so appreciative... tell me more about what you particularly liked."
You will notice people will be happy to tell you more and you
Remember, you are at a very LOW risk of reinforcing others TOO MUCH!
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The Dr. Mitchell Perry Show: Common Sense 101 airs Saturdays from 9:00 am - 11:00 am (Pacific) on KVTA AM1520. It is a little bit reasoning, a little bit education, a lot of laughs, and a whole lot of fun! Every Saturday morning Dr. Perry takes calls LIVE on his radio show on everything -- including relationships, business advice, personal growth, and the ever popular... "Common Sense is very Uncommon!"
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