Dr. JM Perry Perspective - March 2011

Hello Everyone!  Remember life is essentially about two things: Touching people's lives. Having your own life touched in return.  (All the rest is simply noise.)   Therefore, what touches people's lives the most?     Reinforcement and appreciation.  Dr. Mitchell Perry     Practice Reinforcement:  Catch Others Doing Something Right! What you radiate, you attract!  What you focus on expands. People will treat you the way you teach them to treat you. Think about what actually nourishes and encourages you to produce and perform well.  Usually it is mostly about others being impressed, being dazzled and proud of you. You are often driven to do well because of your own self-concept, your values, and the regard, respect, cheering, and reinforcement you receive from others. In company cultures (and most families), there are usually three ways in which people find out how they are doing in the minds of others:      1.   Criticism, pejorative remarks, "constructive criticism"      2.   Silence, absence of any reaction, indifference      3.   Reinforcement, encouragement, compliments,              appreciation MOST OF THE TIME PEOPLE RECEIVE LOTS OF #1 AND #2:  Criticism and silence.  They even say with relief... "no news is good news!"  However, the price on long-term performance is huge.  The result is that most people end up severely EMOTIONALLY MALNOURISHED.  They eventually run out of inspirations and emotional reserves to keep producing at high levels.   So, remember the following axiom: IF YOU REINFORCE BEHAVIOR YOU LIKE IN OTHERS, YOU ARE LIKELY TO GET MORE OF THAT BEHAVIOR!     Practicing Reinforcement at Work: General guidelines about reinforcement: Be specific about what they did or are doing. Share with them what value their behavior has for you. Tie in what value their behavior has for the team/organization. Make a point of practicing reinforcement at meetings. Get into the habit of reinforcing more than you criticize. Send thank you notes in email or, preferably, through the snail mail. Send group voice mails or emails showing reinforcement for someone or several people.  This increases the expectation that good news can be shared and recognition is very acceptable.  Relax your concern that you will be at risk of reinforcing too much.  Most likely, people will keep producing well with new expectations of receiving validation and recognition.  Practice telling people what impresses you.  You will finally get comfortable with it, and they will get comfortable with receiving it.  If people discount your compliment, simply repeat it again until they say thank you. Practice accepting compliments--  Accept it:  say "thank you" Harvest it:  say "thank you, I am so appreciative... tell me more about what you particularly liked."            You will notice people will be happy to tell you more and you           get fed!   Remember, you are at a very LOW risk of reinforcing others TOO MUCH!   Winning Communication Skills Four keys to personal and professional success True leaders are those who can communicate effectively.  What skills do they have that you lack?  What techniques do they use to command attention and respect?  This CD set contains the four keys to Listening actively, Speaking clearly,Reducing Resistance and Resolving Conflict.  These are theWinning Communication Skills that will take you right to the top -- and keep you there.  Most people have yet to master these skills.  But the winners have!  And, the most successful leaders use them everyday.     Winning Communication Skills 4-CD set:   $49.95 Winning Communication Skills  MP3:         $39.95   NOTICE!  Many of Dr. Perry's recordings are available on iTunes and Amazon. "THE DR. MITCHELL PERRY SHOW" Common Sense 101   The Dr. Mitchell Perry Show: Common Sense 101 airs Saturdays from 9:00 am - 11:00 am (Pacific) on KVTA AM1520.  It is a little bit reasoning, a little bit education, a lot of laughs, and a whole lot of fun!  Every Saturday morning Dr. Perry takes calls LIVE on his radio show on everything -- including relationships, business advice, personal growth, and the ever popular... "Common Sense is very Uncommon!"  He has a knack for saying it like it is without beating down his listeners.  You can be sure that if there is an answer to your problem, Dr. Perry will help you figure it out.  Listeners call in to get advice, discuss the day's events or simply to give their opinion on the latest topics. The number to call the studio live is toll free  877-34-PERRY (347-3779). You can also listen to the show by logging on to www.kvta.comand then click on "LISTEN LIVE."

Cheers, Dr. Mitchell Perry JM Perry Learning

Posted via email from Dr. JM Perry: Leveraging Human Performance

Embrace the Obvious

One of the most curious things about people is their difficulty in recognizing what's right in front of their faces.  Do you ever notice that when you are looking for your keys, they are in your hand?  Or when you want to find your glasses, they are sitting right on top of your head?  If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is this:  THE MAGIC IS IN THE OBVIOUS.  That means:  the answer to your dilemma is often right in front of your face.  Your job is to look and discover it, and then... DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Example:  If you tend to be pessimistic, how much time are you spending complaining or feeling sorry for yourself?  If your business is doing poorly, how much are you contributing to poor customer service?  How much are you actually helping the customer be dissatisfied?  If your marriage is one where you feel emotionally malnourished, how much are you withholding nourishment yourself?  Or expecting nourishment from a spouse who is ill equipped to give it to you?  If you are tired and winded going up a flight of stairs, how much do you need to lose weight and get in shape?

The answers are often so obvious we have trouble seeing them.  What is even more curious is that everyone else can see what's right in front of you except you. 

So, what to do?  Ask yourself regularly, "What is obvious here?  What do I need to see?  What can everyone else see here that might be difficult for me to see or accept?  What is right in front of my face?"

Then, do something about it!  CHANGE SOMETHING!  Your behavior, your contribution, your relationships, your habits, something... anything!  Do something different and the situation will change. 

Remember, you have much more power over yourself anyway.

So, the message is:  Embrace the Obvious:  There's magic when you recognize what is right in front of your face.  THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

If you have any questions, please let me, Dr. J. Mitchell Perry know or check out some of our life coaching products.

Posted via email from Dr. JM Perry: Leveraging Human Performance

The October Perry Perspective

Hello Everyone! When you hire someone, you look at their background and skills, yet when you fire them, it is always about their character.  At the end of the day, it all comes down to Strength of Character.  The price you pay for poor character is enormous. Raise the bar -- and life gets better!    Dr. Mitchell Perry    Share Your Strength of Character Every morning when you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see?  Are you pleased or embarrassed?  Proud or ashamed?  Impressed or depressed?  Excited or bored?  Energetic or listless?  Engaged or isolated?  Powerful or weak?  How is your self-respect? Every morning, whether you like it or not, you wake up inside your own skin - which means you have to live with yourself, your feelings, your choices, and your behavior.  And, just like compounded interest in a bank account, there are long-term effects to those choices and behaviors.  At the end of the day, the measure of your life is inevitably determined by your CHARACTER and all its strengths and weaknesses.  So, what is the condition of your Character?  What are your basic governing values?  What are the moral principles by which you want to live?  The essential qualities for Strength of Character include:   INTEGRITY:  Honesty, legitimacy, the straight stuff, the full disclosure; the willingness to be unpopular at times, by telling the truth; the absence of lying, tap-dancing, pretending, spinning, distracting and avoiding.   RESPONSIBILITY:  Your life is completely your responsibility.  If life is going well for you, you probably made it happen.  If life is going poorly, you did that too.  The cards dealt to you are yours to play -- good or bad.  So take accountability, make your choices, take your lumps and get on with it.  The energy you spend on whining, complaining, catastrophizing and awfulizing will be so much better spent on problem solving. GENEROSITY OF SPIRIT:  This part of your Strength of Character is about giving more than taking, contributing more than consuming, caring more than expecting, investing more than expensing.  This part of you is faith, living in the light, deriving meaning, and hearing the quiet. You get more than you give when you give more than you get.  (Hmmm... random acts of kindness).  So, establish a higher standard for yourself and your life.  Commit to INTEGRITY, RESPONSIBILITY and GENEROSITY OF SPIRIT... and then share your values and spread them around.  You are quite a role model!  Raise your BAR!    Strength of Character   Gaining competitive advantage by raising the bar        Strength of Character explores integrity, responsibility, and generosity of spirit in the business setting, driving a stake into the ground and defining the ethical standards by which business will need to be practiced in the coming decades.  This CD explains how leaders and workers can set a new course towards character standards that we all can agree are compelling and necessary.  The magic begins when individuals accept personal responsibility and start making ethical changes in themselves.  Strength of Character CD:   $19.95 Strength of Character MP3: $16.95 NOTICE!  Many of my recordings are available on iTunes and Amazon. "THE DR. MITCHELL PERRY SHOW" Common Sense 101   The Dr. Mitchell Perry Show: Common Sense 101 airs Saturdays from 9:00 am - 11:00 am (Pacific) on KVTA AM1520.  It is a little bit reasoning, a little bit education, alot of laughs, and a whole lot of fun!  Every Saturday morning Dr. Perry takes calls LIVE on his radio show on everything -- including relationships, business advice, personal growth, and the ever popular... "Common Sense is very Uncommon!" He has a knack for saying it like it is without beating down his listeners.  You can be sure that if there is an answer to your problem, Dr. Perry will help you figure it out.  Listeners call in to get advice, discuss the day's events or simply to give their opinion on the latest topics. The number to call the studio live is toll free  877-34-PERRY (347-3779). You can also listen to the show by logging on to www.kvta.comand then click on "LISTEN LIVE."  Cheers, Dr. Mitchell Perry JM Perry Learning

Posted via email from Dr. JM Perry: Leveraging Human Performance

Navigating the Choppy Waters of Family Owned Business

The US Small Business Administration reports that family owned businesses in this country are alive and well. In fact, 90% of small businesses are family owned. So the good news is that there are a lot of families out there involved in owning and managing businesses. The bad news is that managing the business while keeping family members functional, well adjusted, and happy is a tall order indeed. Most family businesses have poor futures: 3 in 10 will survive transition of ownership to the next generation. Why?

Most of the time the issues that arise center around reconciling: 1. For the business: power, control, and succession, and 2. For the Family: Love, loyalty, and #147; fairness #148;

On one hand, family members often have good intentions. They want to feel love, loyalty and protective of each other. Too often feelings of suspicion, self-protection, jealousy, hostility, betrayal, avarice, and guilt take center stage when conflicts emerge surrounding the major omnipresent question: #147;How do we make this business grow, become profitable, and be successful while at the same time making family members involved feel loved, reinforced and rewarded?#148;

Many times huge conflicts evolve that either break up families and/or ruin businesses because the efforts to answer this question are managed so poorly. Because you love a family member has often little to do with that same member being competent, equipped, or suited to handle a specific job in the company. Your interest in being #147;fair#148; can be in direct conflict what is best for the company. Problems arose at International Rectifier in the mid 90s when the two sons of International Rectifier chairman Eric Lidow almost lost the company due to sibling rivalry. Alex Lidow, current CEO of the company, said about his brother, #147;We were products of a competitive upbringing and I had to resolve a lifetime of issues.#148;

What can your company do?

1. KEEP THE DIALOGUE GOING: The moment family members quit talking for whatever reason is the minute the conflicts become untenable and the stage is set for lawyers to take over. Remember, the more talking and conversations occur the better the chance for resolution.
2. GET OUTSIDE HELP: Too often, family members are too emotionally involved and therefore will have trouble thinking objectively about what is good for the business. So, get outside facilitation, mediation, and consultation when it comes to securing succession plans, control assignments, and organizational changes.
3. STAY FOCUSSED ON THE BUSINESS: Make the hard calls on what the business needs. Sometimes that means removing and/or reassigning some family members. While tactically this is often painful, strategically this will insure the business being solvent and secure.
4. REGULARLY DISCUSS THE PLANS AND GET THEM IN WRITING: Have family members participate in the making the agreements and plans. Make sure you write them down in plain English and then review them periodically.
5. MAKE SURE LOVE IN THE FAMILY IS DEMONSTRATED IN OTHER WAYS: If love is shown only through compensation, control, status, and other rewards in the business, you have trouble. Take the time to develop and nurture other dimensions of family closeness outside the business.
6. MAINTAIN THE USE OF MULTILE OPTIONS: People naturally polarize when there is conflict and tension. This creates right/wrong, good/bad, win/lose, success/failure thinking which results in escalation of anger, suspicion and defensiveness. Remember that 3 options or more will always calm down this problem. Always use the magic of multiple options and you will be amazed how you can balance business with family priorities.

Remember the purpose of business is to be successful which requires competence and intelligent planning. At the same time, family success is determined by different variables like love, reinforcement, loyalty, and closeness. Managing these two major systems requires skillful navigation in often stormy seas. Keep the above ideas on your radar and the sailing is likely to be much smoother.

Dr. J. Mitchell Perry is CEO of JM Perry Learning Technologies. To reach him call 800 JM PERRY or go to JM Perry's website or sign up for the JM Perry Newsletter.

Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com

Posted via email from Dr. JM Perry: Leveraging Human Performance

Winning the Losing Game on Weight

Program Summary

Research has shown that one in three Americans is obese.

Obesity raises the risk of heart disease, some cancers, diabetes, arthritis, and being overweight raise blood pressure and cholesterol, which in turn can raise the risk of heart disease.  Improve your life with some of Dr. JM Perry's proven Life Strategies.

Earlier this year, the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention said obesity caused about 25,814 deaths annually in the United States.  That is not the way to live your life. Lose weight now. Be more optimistic and happy in life.

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"I found that the Perry Plan was absolutely, without a doubt, the weight-loss program for me! Because of it I went from a size 14 to a size 8!” ."— Stephanie, California

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Posted via email from Dr. JM Perry: Leveraging Human Performance

Counter-Productive Patterns of Speech

These are habits you have, the way you speak that is often a set-up for a let-down; you shoot yourself in the foot.  One that comes to mind is called “putting your present intentions in the past tense”.  What that means is you want to do something but you put it in the past tense that sounds like you wanted to do it.

People will say, “I wanted to ask you,”  “what I wanted to say was,” “I was getting ready to say.”  When people say to me, “I wanted to ask you”.  I often respond , “well, do you still want to ask me?”  Because it is curious, if you say “I wanted to ask you, …”  it sounds like you don’t anymore.

So what you want to do is take that present intentions and put it in the present tense.  So instead of saying “I just wanted to ask you …” say, “I want to ask you …”  It makes a BIG difference and you have a lot more power.

Come check out more insight from Dr. JM Perry's life strategies and life strategy products!

Posted via email from Dr. JM Perry: Leveraging Human Performance